Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Bring It, 2011

I did a brief 2010 year in review last time I wrote, but I can’t let the upcoming New Year arrive without some sort of reflection.

This time last year, we were battered from a long, tough fall but were also incredibly hopeful about the year about to unfold. In fact, in my New Year’s post I wrote:

“It is one thing to say that having hope is important, but it is another to be truly willing to accept things that are out of your control, to have hope things will work out even if in the moment, you can’t see how or when. That is the hard part for me, anyway.”

What a prescient sentiment to kick of 2010, the year of the highest of highs and some truly significant lows. Having hope things would work out even when I could not see or know how was key to making it through some intense moments this year. A grueling pregnancy and delivery and a serious family health situation certainly demanded hope and faith, and the miracles of life and of survival were (and are) truly breathtaking.

I am someone’s mother. I still cannot believe that sometimes, especially when re-reading thoughts from this time last year, when so much was uncertain.

I do not like listing resolutions; I find them limiting. I’d rather work toward a larger goal. So, for 2011, my goal is to work towards finding balance. That might sound really general or clichéd, but my anxiety for the upcoming year is that I will have trouble with balance, so I’m trying to preempt that. I am someone’s mother now, and 2011 will be all about working everything else (full-time job, book to finish, relationships, household stuff, illness stuff, family stuff, etc) around that.

However, 2010 taught me some important lessons that speak to finding balance, namely:

Be flexible with expectations for myself. (Ongoing breastfeeding saga of 2010, I’m looking at you here).

Know that what works today might not work tomorrow. (This refers to baby schedules, body parts, you name it. Roll with it.)

Make those to-do lists a lot shorter and more realistic. (If bed rest didn’t clarify this, a newborn certainly did.)

Remember that somehow, everything will be okay. (I joke that if my daughter could survive 37 weeks in this body, she can take whatever the world dishes out to her and thrive. Kidding aside, sometimes I need to remember this perspective—no matter what unfolds, we’ll find our way.)

And lastly, take nothing for granted. (Then all of the smaller prioritizations, lists of supposedly important things, and conflicting roles somehow work themselves out.)

So while it’s a few days early, happy New Year. Thank you for reading and for following this journey, especially this past year. Whatever your goals or resolutions are, may 2011 bring you peace and happiness and as much good health as possible.

1 comment:

Ellie said...

great insights and I see the hope that threads through them all -- everything will be ok, flex, roll, and do -- looks like balance to me! Thanks.

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